Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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