I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
