I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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