So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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