the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
