butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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