do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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