When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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