Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
