i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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