If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
