Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
