matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
