Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
