i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
