Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
