He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
