yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
