the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have aggressive nipples.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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