wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
