It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
