i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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