I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
