Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
