Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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