Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
And then he peed in my hair
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