so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
