Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
