I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
