the day after is always just damage control
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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