are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
