google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
