I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
