they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
FUCK WHALES
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
do nipples grow back?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
