Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
