so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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