How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
