I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
