the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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