he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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