the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
