This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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