1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
