I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
