If you die in college, do you die in real life?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
