I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
