I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
