So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
