dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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