we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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